Grief Sneaks Up on You: Yesterday was my birthday and I spent the better half of it in tears.
Monday, 9/12, I was easily irritated and felt walled off. By the evening I was so angry and wanted no one around me. In order to cheer me up, my husband gave me my birthday presents early. I couldn’t even appreciate them and they were incredible!
The next morning of my birthday, I woke up and realized my mom wasn’t going to sing “Happy Birthday” to me again and I balled. The walls I didn’t know I put up came crashing down. I spent the next several hours in tears and raw. Even though my mom has been gone 4.5 years, grief still sneaks up on me. It’s not a bad thing. What I have learned, is you need to feel the grief to start healing. Unfortunately for me, it is a lesson I have to keep learning.
Happy ending, I didn’t spend the whole day in tears. I had lunch with my girlfriends and a dinner with my 2 guys. My heart opened again and I am happier.